Your Bard.

You'll recognise the guy on the left - it's William Shakespeare - who made up for his alarmingly high forehead by doing amazing things with what lay beneath it.

He's credited with inventing hundreds of new words, and some of the quotations which form the backbone of British cultural history.

He was also brilliantly foul-mouthed.

Wouldn't you like to be able to call someone a "gorbellied barnacle", or a "ruttish, knotty-pated, clodpole", or tell them that their "brain is as dry as the remainder biscuit after voyage", and that they are a "poisonous bunch-backed toad"?

Well, now you can have your very own bard to do just that.

With the touch of a button you can have your own insult made to order, crafted from some of the finest Elizabethan swearwords, as well as some of his own pre-formed insults from a dozen plays; and with one more touch, copy it to the clipboard, so that you can use it yourself.

It's a lot of fun. I have no idea what most of the words actually mean, but they sound wonderful.

Try it for free, and you'll see. And if you like it, the paid version has twice the number of words, and quotations, so it's at least four times as good!

Two more things about Shakespeare: he couldn't spell, and he hated toads.

Apposite Software